Hi Assalamualaikum guys, first of all, this is an emotional posting which is very boring and the sole purpose of this entry is to let it out – loud. And I want to read this in the future laughing at my simple grammar mistakes so please excuse me
Life has been pretty crazy. I wouldn’t say it resembles roller coaster rides, because it stayed in a way for years and somehow in a blink of an eye, I’m out of it. I feel free, it’s crazy about how I suddenly feel free. It is so overwhelming that I don’t want to go back to the past anymore. I feel suffocated just by trying to remember what I have to face in the past. The process was weird.
But it is unexplainable in a blog post. But it’s safe to say that I’m out of that bubble I don’t want to be in – in just a blink of an eye – it was as fast as that – I don’t even know why but I’ve been praying for this for so long. It’s like trying to get out of a deadly cult, people won’t let you get out of it – except this one the only thing that has been stopping you is yourself, your heart.
It’s almost like a miracle. It’s miraculous for me. What is this thing that helped me to suddenly wake up and decided that I’m strong and okay? I don’t know. I’ve concluded it’s a du’a made by Hawa’s mum in Makkah last few months helped a lot. I am pretty sure of it. But this is very very life-changing because I stuck in the same place for years and finally I’m out of it.
There’s no way to turn back. I don’t want that. I’ll make sure I won’t go back to what I was before. Never.